Dad

He is all of me and none of me

He is religion like god

He is the hand that gives and the hand that takes

He is the reason for my love of a war in a galaxy far far away

All I wanted was you

What a flawed vision

I needed glasses but even those didn’t show me the falsehoods

I didn’t get the closeness that was promised

I got a damnation

A lie

Unfortunately no matter how healed I am

Or self love I give myself

I still crawl into bed on dark rainy afternoons

And tuck myself under the covers all the way up

My best stuffed animal not far behind

And hold myself in a the tiny pit of comfort I can scrape together for myself

I turn on the clone wars show

It’s my last secret from him

An extension of something he gave me but mine alone