Heres the thing…
I enjoy the corruption. I want to feel soft and feminine, and smell like the beautiful flowers that drip in velvet colors from my perfume bottle. I want to feel innocent only to be seduced and corrupted by someone older, stronger, and darker.
Unfortunately, I like the innocent doe act, the one that lands me in the mighty claws of a predator. “And so the lion fell for the lamb, what a sick, sadistic, lion” he says. Why would I be the one lamb slightly provoking the lion stalking his prey. Honestly, I imagine I would see the lion stalking one of the other lambs and get jealous in some way. Who’s sick now?
I enjoy the image of the sunshine woman. The young, beautiful, innocent, blonde from the south who dances in the meadow. She is so kind and so loving and sweet. He sees her from a distance that she doesn’t even register. She’s so cute and naive. He is interested from the first sight. He sees the purity in her pearly skin and the light glowing from within her. He wants to take her. He wants to corrupt her. He wants to make her glow for him. He wants to see that sunshine underneath his sadistic shadows.
He wants to make her cheeks, so rosey from smiling ear to ear, bleed with tears of pain and pleasure. He wants to see the look in her beautifully hopeful eyes as the light drains from them (rolls to the back of her head). He wants to see what he can get away with. He wants to push her, no, he wants to break her into a million pieces. He wants to take her shattered bits of sunshine and smiles and make them his.
I want to be an innocent that’s corrupted. I craveeee to play the part.
It’s like this itch
Like my skin is on fire but there’s no source
Something my body craves for that my mind can’t comprehend
Please, my body begs, please give me what I want
Something intangible yet I know it well
It’s my breathe being taken away
It’s the spike of my heart rate as cold metal grazes my skin
My blood pressure increases as the restraints grow tighter
I push back, I looove to push back
I love the challenge of “can you really hold me down” “am I reallllyy tied down beyond my espacing?”
And the pain, the fucking pain
God I never knew how much I loved it
My pussy gets so wet, like it’s its own creature
My pussy loves the pain
I like taking it
I like testing myself, seeing how far I can go. I wanna know how far I can take it. Can I be a good pain slut?
Take me to the edge, take me to the limit
take me….
take me-
It’s not the same. I can’t do it to myself. I need the verbal commands. I need the feel of the dom behind me. I need the restraints and pain. The desire to cum, but the battle to not let myself until given permission. I need the power play.
Mystic River 